Tuesday, December 20, 2011
DTB Insecurity DTB
Insecurity can be a dangerous thing. Especially for women, because women feel the need to be a certain way due to the media among other things expressing that a woman with bleached blonde hair, big boobs, blue eyes, and who weighs about 90 pounds is what every woman should look like. Insecurity does not just limit itself to women though. Insecurity can be towards anything but i don't have to go into detail about it because everyone feels insecure about something or has in the past.
What bothers me about insecurities is when one will take their insecurities and belittle others just to try and make themselves feel better and it is totally wrong. Just recently I went on an amazing trip with a few friends and my husband and we had an outstanding time...apart from one thing. The female that was on the trip constantly was bragging on a certain body part of hers and comparing it to mine in a rude way. I am not one to take abuse from others but I had to realize that sometimes peoples insecurities can over power them to do things they don't realize they are doing. For example I was reading a question about a girl on yahoo who was having problems with a friend comparing her boob size to hers and the girl was lost in just trying to befriend this person but she was constantly being put down. One of the responders answered in an extraordinary way to the girls problem by stating,
"She's telling you negative things, because she wants to knock you off your pedestal (the one she's put you on, not that you've put yourself on one)."
I thought that comment was very true and interesting. she stated it perfectly! (If you would like to read more on this question please visit, (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090721081833AAwenWhIf) One is attacking another in this type of situation it is because they see you as something special in their mind and they are trying to convince themselves that they are better. Its crazy because I can speak from experience.
I felt as if I was the one with the problem while being attacked like I was doing something to make this person over our vacation feel insecure or if my body was really as she was stating it was, (which it is not), it was horrible, but I can understand where she was coming from. When I was a kid I was a very happy child because I had the best parents in the world and the greatest friends along with my loving sibling, but we did not have much money therefore I sometimes lied to try and make myself feel better because I put certain kids on a pedestal of them having riches which now as an adult I can say most of their parents were in the same boat as my family was financially but they just displayed it in a different way. Although I could level with this person about the reason why she was treating me the way that she was it was still hard for me to sit back and not say anything, but I had to remember she is the person who needs me as a friend more than I need to ridicule her for her actions. People like the person who I vacationed with are extremely competitive and haven't learned to be OK with they person that they are without having to prove to everyone by winning everything that they are superior, which is why I didn't retaliate on anything she said to me. Sometimes we have to remember that the person who always needs to be in control, who is always putting one down at the sake to build themselves up has a deeper issue and that is why I love the quote by Naomi Campbell stating that... "Anger is a manifestation of a deeper issue... and that, for me, is based on insecurity, self-esteem and loneliness." I wouldn't go with her quote as just being anger but more of anger towards oneself and I would also use the word insecurity within that quote as well. I believe she gives a needed shone light on situations that alot of people hold inside.
I am not going to write this blog and pretend like I have cured all of my insecurities because I have not, I still struggle with them. The only way I have learned to cope with them better is because of my relationship with GOD. Through HIM I know that he loves me for who I am and that he made me so I am perfect in his eyes, and that is all that matters. I have to remind myself often of that because I get my insecure moments as well. I recommend everyone to develop a relationship with GOD to fill your heart to know that you are perfect!
In Closing...When one feels bad or that they do not measure up to something in life and they take their insecurities out on you, lets all step back and think of the bigger picture and try to understand where they are coming from and not let it ruin your friendship, but at the same time do not let someone ridicule u and hurt you because GOD created you therefore you are perfect.
On a side note if you ever are feeling insecure there are several songs out there to listen to Perfect by Pink if you don't want to listen to the song here are the Lyrics...
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dang it ppl can b so mean but we all get it & its weird like i tell ppl sometimes when they share about their physical insecurities... if u didn't tell moi i wouldnt have know but like one friend told me beauty fades and all u will b left is the person she/he is... its hard but i love listening to ppl i focus on what they do and say more... plus like u said God made us and he makes no mistakes! and you are beautiful jazzy plus u r a wonderful person!!! not many ppl have others say that to them... Dtb<3
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